Nothing is more damaging to your confidence and self-esteem than being in an emotionally abusive relationship. An emotionally abusive relationship can be harder to pinpoint than physical abuse. In a lot of cases, the abuse victim isn’t aware that abuse is even happening until it is too late.

Nowadays emotional abuse seems to be a term that people use offhandedly. If your husband forgets your wedding anniversary, or you get into a heated argument, and you both say things you shouldn’t, you are not in an emotionally abusive relationship.

While an emotionally abusive relationship may be harder to spot, it is just as dangerous as a physically abusive one. This form of abuse commonly “deteriorates a person’s self-esteem, independence, and dignity” and according to OneLove,

abusive relationships rarely start with physical violence… In time, emotional abuse can escalate in severity, turning from verbal attacks and mental manipulation to physical beatings.

If you think you or someone you love is in an emotionally abusive relationship, here are 21 things that you should look for:

1. Humiliating or embarrass their partner
2. They have unreasonable jealousy
3. Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice when communicating
4. Constant put-downs and negative comments
5. Hypercriticism and blame
6. Using money to control you or a loved one
7. Ignoring or excluding from conversations or in daily life
8. Provocative behavior with opposite sex
9. Making everything your fault
10. Extreme moodiness
11. Extramarital affairs
12. Mean jokes or continually making fun of you
13. Saying “I love you but…”
14. Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.”
15. Domination and control of everything from groceries to clothing choices
16. Withdrawal of affection to ‘scold’ you
17. Threatening to commit suicide if you leave
18. Refusing to communicate in a healthy manner
19. Isolating you from friends and family
20. Guilt trips for anything and everything
21. Constant calling or texting when you are not with him/her

The first and most important step when you are emotionally abused is to recognize that you are being abused. If you see any signs that you might be being abused in your relationship, you need to take the next step and stop the abuse. The sooner you can take back your life from your abuser, the easier it will be to tackle the effects left behind.

About Choices Psychotherapy

Choice is the foundation for a change. Choice speaks to the reality that there is not one right answer for all.  At Choices Psychotherapy, we are committed to empowering clients and their families to identify options while assisting in creating a personal roadmap toward health and recovery.

Related: Domestic Violence